He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
