Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
