everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
