we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Is this like a preordered booty call?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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