You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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