Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if only i could text you this smell
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
