Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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