Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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