I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
