Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
high people should be assigned attendants
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
