I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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