I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
