i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
