We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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