His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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