i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
