Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
