and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
