Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
