3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
