Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize