I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Don't tell me you're on acid again
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
