You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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