I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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