she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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