have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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