and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
try to milk me bitch
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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