cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
