don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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