it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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