My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize