Someone shit on the floor
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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