umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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