if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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