i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
