OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
