it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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