wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize