Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
