You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
