is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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