Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
