This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
