There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
