absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
