I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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