As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
