he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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