I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
