RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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