we have officially lost it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize