i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
