What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
