He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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