It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
