Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
