Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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