Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The ass gains better be worth it
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