also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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