They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sarcasm needs its own font
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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