not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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