youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
