your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
