And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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