not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's always time for handjobs
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize