so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize