And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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