If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I need water and some morals
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
