The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
