Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
