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Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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