Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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