We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
