My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
