I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
