Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
