all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
