Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
