I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
